Pretend
What is there to do when there is nothing you can do? When you get out of bed and want nothing more than to crawl back in, to spend the day wrapped up in a dark, quiet place and make the world go away. What is there to do when the pounding in your head drowns out the laughter you once felt? Pretend. Put on that pretty smile and pray that nobody knows you’re a liar when you say you’re doing fine. Pretend. Laugh when someone tells a joke, frown when someone cries, smile when someone asks about your day. Pretend. Get out of bed and show everyone you are surviving. Nobody needs to know about the hours of wondering where life will lead you next, and they don’t need to know about the countless nights spent laying your head on tear-soaked pillows. The tears dry by morning, the sun comes up, the world turns, and you smile. You smile while you sit alone in a crowded room, because frowning just isn’t worth the risk. It’s not worth risking the pushy questions, the empty promises, or the good intentions. It’s not worth the risk of letting the truth of your pain escape your tongue, because nobody likes a whiner. So what, tell me please, what is there to do? There is nothing I can do, but pretend.
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