August 2009

She Stands

There are many in this world that face the same debilitating sadness as me. Many who wake up in the morning just to ask, “Does anyone care that I opened my eyes? Does anyone care that I’m still breathing?” Many, like me, have felt that river of unexpressed emotion well up inside her chest and threaten to burst, threaten to rip apart the pieces held together only by the smile of a loving husband, threaten to tear that big fake smile off her own face and show the world what she really is. The world will see that she really isn’t perfect, that she really isn’t fine. She will feel this threat building inside of her and wonder, “Why did I get out of bed?” And without fail those words of comfort will echo in her ears, “I’ve got you.” And she will be able to face another “How are you?” She will hear the voice of God say, “You have worth,” and she will have the strength to slap on one more polite smile. Because God cares. And in His infinite mercy He sent His son to die for her, to walk on this earth, to feel the unbearable pain of loneliness, to suffer the treacherous journey of rejection. And all because she matters to Him. He hears her broken heart as it screams out to Him to rescue her from her torment and in His miraculous love He reaches out again and again to glue her pieces back together. To say, “You matter to me.” He waits at her door until she cries out in her agony that it’s too much to bear, that she can’t live another day in this life, and He takes her into His strong, loving arms and says, “Yes you can.” And she does. She stands. She stands as she realizes that she still has not been blessed with a child of her own. She stands when she learns that her husband is going to war. She stands as she watches her child leave her side and disobey the Law of the Lord. God gave her these struggles. God placed her in her world of sadness and grief and longing, but He carries her through. He will always catch her when she falls, hear her when she cries, and comfort her when she is alone. Nobody knows of the storm inside women like this, but Jesus does. And Jesus cares.